On Weddings, Judge Roberts, and Contemporary Feminism

On Sunday mornings I run for the Weddings section of New York Times. Carrie from Sex and the City called it "the single woman's sport pages," but from what I can tell, it's not just the solo gal who reads it. . . more like the Business section for all women regardless of marital status. Perusing through, I couldn't help but be charmed by the featured couple -- sort of like A.R. Gurney's Love Letters, but with a happier ending.

. . . which leads me to thoughts on John Roberts as a nominee for SCOTUS. My friend M was kind enough to ask my opinion at dinner before the Freakonomics lecture and because I couldn't then say what I wanted to fully, I will do so here: John Roberts will make a fine justice, definitely to the right, but overall fine. He's qualified and regardless of his politics, he's thoughtful, hard-working, and decent. . . especially smart of him not to leave such long a paper trail, eh? What a good Catholic would want to know is why the guy didn't become a priest. D raised the issue of his membership in the Federalist Society, which is nothing more than a networking thing, really. Membership is open to anyone, though it's a truly conservative group, so you'd have to be one (or know one) to feel welcome. This op-ed in the NYT (written by a former Blackmun law clerk currently a professor at my law alma mater) has a cogent and practical take on what's appropriate to ask during the Senate confirmation hearings.

The topics above connect in my mind because I find it interesting how egalitarian and ahem, downright progressive Judge Roberts' marriage appears to be. The judge's wife is a partner at big DC firm. They married in their 40's and apparently adopted kids because they were not having any luck on their own. This is something to note, not for Senate purposes, but personally and professionally, because I have it on good information that fertililty is often an issue for big-firm attorneys of both sexes, in DC and elsewhere. Those guys and gals work so hard, it takes a toll on their personal lives in a very tangible way.

To sum this up, here are my deep thoughts regarding the state of contemporary feminism: Last night I was at a ladies' crafting and fundraising party for a local charity. My friends and I were mostly scrapbooking. Not many of us work outside the home these days, though most had established careers before having kids. What would Jill Ker Conway and other feminists think of us sitting there crafting away doing what is essentially non-paid work? We are the ones who are supposed to be having it all, career, marriage, and family, but we don't seem to, at least not all at once. Whatever happened? Both the men and the women of my generation would love to know.

Monet Revisited

I finished the afghan from a while ago for my old roommate A's soon-to-be adopted daughter on the plane ride home. Too bad I didn't get to see her in person. We had an incredible trip, but I'm happy to be back. The east coast is such a lively and inspiring place with wonderful friends and family, I'm sad I can't be there more often.

In the President's Footsteps

This is the hat J's grandpa bought for her in New Haven. We spent some time hanging around Yale for my daughter to see. To occupy myself, I went on a personal quest for evidence of President Bush's days on campus. My question to anyone I could ask was, "What residential college did George W. Bush live in as an undergrad?" I got a bunch of interesting answers, though no one really knew. One woman was kind enough to point me over to where his daughter Barbara lived, but couldn't think of the name:


My stepfather, an alum, showed me what he thought was the Skull and Bones building, so I took a picture of the door just in case:


At the Yale Bookstore (formerly the Co-op, now owned and managed by Barnes and Noble), I couldn't find any info about the President except to confirm that he had been a student. I did, however, come across a book of interest that turns out to have been written by the best-looking professor I've ever seen.


So I pretty much gave up at that point. Here's a final picture typical of the Yale trees and gothic. My photos don't do the campus justice -- it's really quite gorgeous. This was probably done subconsciously since I much prefer the rival school.


For our next trip, I'm thinking we should head further north, to Andover, Massachusetts, continuing in search of the President, or maybe south to Texas!

Pepe's Pizza

Pepe's and its down-the-street rival Sally's are supposedly where American Pizza was invented and perfected. Both have been serving customers for decades in New Haven, Connecticut, my stepfather's hometown. We only go to Pepe's, and as I mentioned a while back, the pizza with fresh clams is to die for.

Prose Like Butter

In NYC, I learned about a poet and teacher who is now publishing the occasional book review. Here is his most recent. Isn't the writing exquisite? If the book were as good as the book review, I'd buy it for sure.

American Girl

For the record, we spent considerable time at the American Girl Place in Manhattan during our trip last week, amounting to tons of cash, so thank goodness we had the grandparents with us. Day 1 was just to check out the scene. Marisol was sold out, so we put her on order and got some accessories for her impending arrival. On Day 2, we saw The American Girls Revue. Right after, Josefina, J's original doll who had come all the way from California with us, had her hair done. We picked Marisol up on Day 3 and then had lunch at the restaurant on the third floor.

Yes, that's right, Josefina had her hair done. Here's the setup they've got going on:


This was Josefina before...


... during...



... and after:


FABULOUS! Josefina's never looked better. Rosaura, her stylist, gave us some tips: Keep Josefina's textured hair in braids, use lots of water but nothing else when combing it out, and be extra patient when working through the tangles.

FYI, Josefina's new 'do cost more than my last visit to the beauty parlor.

The Back Of My Mind

In the midst of all the fun, I have been reminded by several sources now to think and perhaps to act. And here is another link to the blog of a friend of a colleague who is in Darfur.

Other NYC Highlights

Here's a picture of a funky squirrel in Central Park. We took a stroll there after an hour or so in the Met. B, a native NY'er, had met us earlier that morning insisting we view the Tony Oursler exhibit because "the kids love it." He would know since he's an elementary school teacher and was right on -- J couldn't get enough.

After the museum and park that day, we took a break at Dylan's Candy Bar.

We also saw two musicals during our trip, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and All Shook Up. Both were terrific.

Ground Zero

Washington Square Arch

This is a nightview from the balcony of a friend's apartment in NYC. The arch is at the base of Fifth Avenue, in the heart of Greenwich Village.

Ahhh, delectable Gotham!

Once In a Lifetime

We were able to attend the Arrival Ceremony for the Prime Minister of India held on the South Lawn of the White House the last day of our visit. There was a full Military Honor Guard...


... including soldiers representing each branch with flag banners naming their battles fought. The banner poles are normally kept in the Roosevelt Room of the West Wing where we had seen them a couple of days earlier:



Two military marching bands provided the music. The press and the Secret Service were also present:



The morning was hot and muggy. My daughter was very patient waiting for the ceremony to begin.

Hail To the Chief

The Prime Minister's entourage got out in front of the Rose Garden...


Here are the best photos I could get of the President, the Prime Minister, the First Lady, and Mrs. Kaur from where we were standing:



The President and Prime Minister inspected the troops and gave short speeches. There was a 19-gun salute.



Pretty close, eh?

On the Way Out

We saw the Prime Minister's car...


... and the White House putting green and chipping area (with golf kit on the bench)...


... and the Missionaries of Charity (Mother Teresa's order) on the street just after.


So am I a Republican now? Nah, but I do have a deeper appreciation for this presidency leaving DC. It was a great honor to visit the White House on the two occasions we did.

Other DC Highlights

We ate at a couple of great restaurants in DC. One was Zaytinya for dinner, and the second was Jaleo for brunch the next day. At both places you order little plates and share. The spanakopita at Zantinya was especially delicious as was the braised lamb. And everything was good at Jaleo, too. My mom liked the bocarrones, and my daughter the croquetas.

We took the kids to the Smithsonian National Natural History Museum and that was hit. J originally agreed to go along only to see the Hope Diamond, but ended up having a much better time playing with the bugs.

West Wing

Through connections, our first stop in DC was the West Wing. As you can see from this photo, it was a rainy day. Here is where we entered:


We were not allowed to take photos inside, but did see the Oval Office (nicely decorated in creams and yellows), the Roosevelt Room, the Rose Garden, and my favorite, the Press Room.

Being a bit of a scandalmonger, I now regret my somewhat snarky comments about Karl Rove the week before we left. The penchant for muckraking may run in the family, however, as my mom kept asking questions like, "Now where would Betty Curry have sat?" and "Where would the door to the sitting room be?" when checking out the Oval Office. The guard nearby was definitely amused.

Here is a view from the Rose Garden. There were also beautiful zinnias in bloom:


Here is a picture of some newsies in the Press Room waiting for a scoop from just in front of The Official White House Podium. The room is much smaller than you would think from TV. We had a good time standing behind the podium pretending to be the President or his Press Secretary: "We have no comment at this time.... That question has already been answered...."


The press also maintains a continuous presence on "Pebble Beach" since Monica:


Out front here there were a couple of really huge guys in all black with super big guns -- these are the sharpshooters who usually hang out on the roof. I would have loved to have taken a picture or two, but was too intimidated to even look at them.



This was the start of a pretty amazing stay in DC thanks to some good friends. Both my daughter and I can hardly wait for school to start to tell what we did on our summer vacation.

New Haven Postcard

We're actually in Guilford, a couple of towns over, but were in New Haven last night for dinner at Pepe's. Ordered their famous pizza with fresh clams so that took care of my clam fix. No real plans for today, except to enjoy the quiet after NYC. Heading home tomorrow with some great photos I need to post.
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NYC Postcard

Have spent altogether too much time in the American Girl Doll Store so far. It's across the street from both Saks and Izod, so traveling to and from it is like crossing into the Bermuda Triangle for the three generations on our trip. Have also hung out with friends and one cousin. Saw the musical Chitty Chitty Bang Bang last night and will check on the Met today.
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DC Postcard

We're standing on the South Lawn of the White House waiting for the President, the Vice President, and the Prime Minister of India to arrive. It's the official Arrival Ceremony for Dr. Singh's visit.

Needless to say, we've had an incredible trip so far.
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Bees and Honey

This post title's the name of the polish color, but the photo doesn't do it justice. Despite my gnarly feet, do you like the flowers? I had them done 'specially to show my friends back east. Mom says nail art is provincial -- no self-respecting big-city gal would be caught dead with toe trimming like this. Might I be starting a new trend?

arriving soon

I sent the following kind of obnoxious email (edited some here) a few days ago to a bunch of my college friends in NYC:

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Gothamites--

 

No response to my messages and I will be arriving soon.  What up?  This is a gal as comfortable on Central Park West as on Park Avenue, who can power shop with the best, and who knows how to hail both a cab and your daddy's company limo (still brown?)!  

 

When did we all grow up?  Please don't forsake me to the masses (and my family ;-)).  Someone please, I want to play with the locals.  Email me back soon. 

 

--Me (Ever The West Coast Princess)

 

P.S.  My people in DC have arranged for a private tour when we arrive there a couple of days before, so now you know why I am a little miffed with youse.

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Finally got a response. The plan is meet for drinks at the bar in the Washington Square Hotel. Still no word from Mr. Big (and one other, better friend), but it appears he's been busy lately.

Just Say No To Karl Rove

Can't tell if Mr. Rove just forgot to *cya* or if he's actually being shown the door... Yes, I'm showing my Twisted Liberal stripes, but my voice is well-modulated. If only I could sing it like Arianna.

Just Say No To Pilates

I might have quit pilates class last night. Late on the way over (again), instead of facing the music and going in, I turned back and went to Baskin-Robbins before heading home. There's something plain miserable about pilates. In a ballet or dance class, you can distract yourself with the music. Yoga feels very spiritual. In pilates, however, it's all about isometric stomach crunches -- YUK. Yeah, there's some music in the background, but it's not like you're allowed to really get into it.

I still have a few more classes left in the series with a couple of friends along for the ride. We'll see if I can stick it out.

Ipswich Clams

It's dinner time, and anticipating my trip east, I've got clams on the brain. FYI, clams are the absolute best from north of Boston. In fact, I may have nearly married a guy from Ipswich just to be near the source.

If you're going to do the clam thing, the best is to buy a huge bag from one of the little shacks along the road from the shore. Take them home and let them soak in a pot of saltwater and cornmeal for a few hours to clean. Drain the water and add fresh water to cover. Put the pot on the stove and let the clams simmer a few minutes until they open. Serve with the cooking broth and melted butter in cups for dipping. These are called steamers. Be sure to completely pull off the blackish sheath from a clam's siphon before eating. Hold the siphon to dip the clam first in the broth and then in the butter. Eat the whole thing (including the siphon but not the sheath) to be like a true Yankee, but don't eat any clams whose shells haven't opened in the cooking -- they were probably dead when you bought them.

If you are in the mood for fried clams (every bit as delicious), you can go to either Woodman's in nearby Essex or The Clam Box right in Ipswich. If you want linguine alle vongole, the best place is in the North End of Boston, called The Daily Catch.

Yes, yes, I know, we have clams here, too, but they're different, not even close to the ones from New England. And since we're not planning to go any farther north than New Haven (CT) this trip, we probably won't be eating any real soon.

The Boot Of Perfection

Back in the day, Harlick & Company made custom skating boots for all the best figure skaters (like me!). I used to go there specially to get my feet measured and molded for just the right fit by one of the co-owners, Mr. Henderson. The place had a distinctive smell, of leather and shoe polish, that could now bring tears to my eyes for all its pleasant memories.

Harlick is still in business, but I hear the quality isn't as high. Other companies are trying to make boots with lighter weight, more durable materials that would seem to make sense in preventing injuries. Take a look at the Harlick website, though. The office had (and maybe still has) walls and walls of skating portraits autographed by generations of stars. Harlick's put the entire collection online and looking through it is like taking a mini-tour of the history of figure skating.

Stage Mothering

This is the weekend of my daughter's annual dance recital, aka "The Big Show," and our lives have been very focused the past few days. We will have had blocking, two dress rehearsals, and three performances by the time it's all over tomorrow evening. I'm already exhausted.

Here is a picture of some dancers passing time backstage waiting to go on. The whole production's a lot of work, but it's worthwhile. J enjoys it and has been in class with friends whose moms are part of my Las Madres group, so she and most of her dancemates have known each other since they were just weeks old. It's definitely a bonding thing for the girls and the moms, too.

Life's A Beach

This is a topside view of my daughter's hermit crab setup. She has two, Hermie and Katerina. Of course the minute I got my camera they closed back up into their shells. Hermie is in the large spiral conch at the top. Katerina is in the much tinier grayish-brown one to the left.

Hermie's been with us for more than two years now -- pretty good for a pet from a mall kiosk. He's escaped only once, when we had him out on the living room floor in a little tub of water one afternoon. The doorbell distracted us so he was able to crawl far away without us noticing. Smart guy... I found him two months later about midnight making his way around our bathroom! Don't be grossed out though, 'cause our floors and carpets have been completely redone since then.

On Signaling Mixed Signals

Did you know that those yellow ribbon stickers people have been putting on their cars don't just mean they're proud of our troops, but that there should be unquestioning obedience to the President's decisions regarding the war? I didn't really, but see how that might be so now thinking about it. Ellen Goodman wrote about this in her column yesterday discussing in part how certain things have been co-opted to mean much more than their face value. So for better or for worse these days, if you have a flag flying in front of your house, you might be taken for a Pat Robertson-following, GOP-voting, card-carrying member of the NRA. And while this might not be true in the least, Ms. Goodman's point is well taken: Assumptions are made.

Just so you know, I do occasionally have a flag in front of my house but regularly vote Democrat. I don't have one of those yellow ribbon stickers on my car, but try to support our troops in Iraq and around the world whenever I can. Since the war started I have sent care packages via the USO and donated school supplies for the military to distribute overseas. Does this mean I am a Haliburton-loving, neocon war hawk? I think not.

To further clarify, I strongly believe Christmas should be a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, though not to the exclusion of non-Christians. A couple of Christmases ago, I greeted some fellow parishioners on two separate occasions with a hearty "Happy Holidays!" and was stunned to get a look of reprimand with an indignant "Merry Christmas" in return. Did you know wishing someone either "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings" means you are wont to take the Christ out of Christmas? Silly me, here I was thinking I could shorten my salutation from "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year," or quite possibly, "Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Whatever-Else-Your-Family-Might-Celebrate," when I unknowingly put myself in religious crossfire.

So what do you think my blue blog background means? Could it be that I am down for Cal in the Big Game, for Yale or Duke over on the east coast, for the crips, or for John Kerry? Well actually, it's none of the above. I picked this template simply because I liked the color. Thank goodness my friends are not easily offended.

Into the Line Of Fire

Last week I had a sort of panic attack thinking of our trip to DC and NYC. I've been east a couple of times post-9/11, but not to these cities. We're pretty lucky on the west coast to have avoided TERRORISM. For me, it's been like a bad dream -- fairly easy to shake off and continue on with my day well removed from the traumatic reality.

How do the citizens of NYC and DC cope?

And not only are we physically putting ourselves into the line of fire traveling to those cities, it's like we are doing so mentally and emotionally as well. The establishment is a mess, full of discord and disunity all over the political spectrum. What are we going to do about Iraq? Who will be the new Supreme Court justice(s)? Looking at the names possibly up for nomination to replace Sandra Day O'Connor is disheartening for anyone centrist to left. So far it appears AG Alberto Gonzales, Mr. Torture Memo himself, is the best of the lot. In an attempt to lighten the load, here is a funny post I found via Wonkette.

Happy Fourth of July!

This Is A Chain Blog

I just noticed a spike in my sitemeter, so I checked and it turns out my cousin Veronica Montes mentioned me on her blog again. She is a published author (mostly short fiction) who's been blogging for a while, so her site gets real traffic. Ver's set me up with a "meme" which I am thinking is either blog jargon or some Filipino word I don't know. In any case, I get that the meme works like a chain email -- I'm supposed to fill in my answers and pass it on. Thankfully, this is a literary meme, so I don't have to be telling my favorite food or most embarassing moment. Here goes:

1. Total number of books owned: Lots. My maternal grandfather made me a promise when I was very young that he would buy me any book I wanted and kept it until he died. My buying habits were set accordingly -- I have been lucky enough to have owned more than my fair share of books in life.

2. Last book I bought: The Idiot's Guide To Texas Hold'em, as a "first-out" prize for the end of the year staff party (the teachers went crazy staying up past 10pm playing poker).

3. Last book I read: Either Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner or Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith by Matthew Stover.

4. Five books that mean a lot to me: I recall answering this for a college application essay, so I'll try to reconstruct my list here -- Lisa Birnbach's Official Preppy Handbook, Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird, Alexandre Dumas's Count of Monte Cristo, and that might have been it. To add a more contemporary fifth, I'd say How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents by Julia Alvarez.

5. Five people I am sending this meme onto: NONE, at least for now. My friends are generally not bloggers, but I'll see what I can do.

Anton's Jazz

A friend of mine from college, Anton, is an excellent musician. Here is the link to his website. He plays jazz sax. I'm trying to think of any blogworthy dish I have on him. Hmmm... Anton is originally from NYC. He didn't major in Music, but in Computer Science or Applied Math or something way far out like that. He went on to do a Ph.D. in a related field at Stanford, but then decided to make his stand in music. Go check him out. If you talk to him before or after the show, you can tell him Princess Leia from Thayer North sent you.

Get Your Stock Now

I can't resist adding: This morning I heard that Ronco, maker of Mr. Microphone, the Veg-O-Matic, and all those other interesting products sold by infomercial on TV, is going public. Having considered buying Ronco products many times, I might try and acquire stock just for kicks. Maybe my poker friends and I could go in for some together as the "First-Out" prize at our next Hold'em tournament.